Adjustment

A romanticized picture of the other side. 

Of everything that is beyond the current reality. It's easy to think that everything is perceived differently outside your frames of your reality. That sadness, joy, fear and happiness would feel different in other physical enviroments. It could be that the beliefe of a life on the other side of the world, in a new house or home just next to yours, with a different partner and so on, would make life easier in a way. 
This is of course not the case. 

With a sense of loneliness, confusion, lack of motivation and fears I've had to search (and am still searching) within myself to find my answers. I reached for support from friends and family from home because of my lack of faith in my own ability to handle these feelings. Thank you lovely people. I love you. But with time, and other genuine meetings, I understand that my mission here is to stop and just breathe. As my honeydew Alex would say, To Be.

"Whenever she sat quietly, just looking at something, she got a feeling that she was waistings precious time when she could be doing things or meeting people. She could be spending her time so much better because there was still so much to learn. And yet, as the sun sank lower on the horizon, and the clouds filled up with rays of gold and pink Brida had a feeling that what she was struggling for in life, was exactly this. To be able to sit one day and contemplate just such a sunset." (P.Coelho-Brida)
To learn to be quick starts with to learn how to be slow.

I meet loads of people here and around every corner is someone to hang out with for a while. The other day when I sat in a cafe, I realized that I shared a table (a small one as well) with a man, even though there were many other avalible seats. This time, I didn't speak with him, but otherwise the NZ-thing to be, is to just hang out with whoever whenever. I love it! So in this country you get to meet a lot of people in all shapes and colors, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Wafflelunch with Melinda and Anna

Yet I didn't feel that it was enough. I missed somebody to discuss life with. Most of the people here are just travelling through and there is a difference between travelers and travelers. You could live in a backpack but still make choices on the basis of the group mentality, party and the to-do list from Lonely Planet's recommendations (No, ofc not the same to-do-lists as mine at work! :P ). Or you could live in ur backpack and wake up every day, feel and reflect and make decisions. These are the people who is searching to experience with the trust in life and himself as a guidance. People with many dreams, experiences and creative thinking. These kind of persons can, like in this case, be found on the streets of Queenstown. Hmm, maybe that sounded a bit hmmm.. but yeah.. 
So the story goes.. 
One morning I was completely unmotivated and sad, walked out and asked the universe to send me people, or anyway someone who could inspires me and bring me energy. That same day, as I was downtown, I followed the sounds of great music from far away. And there I found Marc. An August Rush for those who've seen that movie. A street musician, baskin his way through travelling, and one of the most amazing musicians I have ever met. He is German and 19 years old and sometimes I wonder if he has any idea what he's doing. He just does it. He is the music himself.

Marc buskin

The same day I met Marc, he had ran into Tom, a mandolinplaying Englishman (at my age also, wiihioo, hard to find here!). So after a few hours we all sat in the QT garden and played and sang and the energy between us was so in sync. They became my best friends. Tom, as Marc, is also an incredible mucisian, and a lot likewise me, and we share a lot of thoughts. So all of a sudden -Motivation and inspiration back! Obrigada!

Tom playing

So. When I've learned what I need to learn to enter the next chapter in life, things will be different, again. But how, I don't know...Right now I'm here and that's all I need to know. To be in this second is the only thing we need to learn how to handle. And we do by just being here.






But I still want more travelling. Could be that a part of me still wants to escape whatever I can't control here. Maybe it is because I'm still not working and haven't got into ”daily” life yet. And maybe also because I miss people that I met travelling. But this could be years away. Which is okay. So now I just need to make a plan. To figure out how to make a living by writing, singing, creating, dancing and so on.


The things I love.


The biggest thing I have overcome this far is..
I love spending time with myself! (Although sometimes u laugh a bit more with others) :))

Over and out! Now I'll just spend my day by doing nothing.

Peace