End of a chapter

Heaps of rain seems to be a good reason to organize things on the computer -including Blogging. So let's take this moment to update u a little bit of whats been going on here the last month. I am sitting at my favouritecafé -Tuktas, in Santitham area, where I live. This is a space for meetings between more or less strangers, exchanging knowledge, experiences and sharing stories and memories of traveling.

In this exact moment, six interesting people entered, and again, I might get too distracted to finish this post...

One of the most interesting and fascinating people I've met here is Olivier- a man from Switzerland that once after a car-accident ended up in a coma. When he woke up he had lost all his memories and his whole life is about building up a new identity based on old diaries and pictures from the past. 

What is an identity? And what are you without your ego? 

When I say ego I refer to whatever you identify yourself as, in terms of proffession, man/woman, strong/weak, young/old, etc etc. 

But we are not our Ego. And this is what I am constantly striving for -to detach to my ego and to find the peace, freedom, happiness and Love within the Self (the Soul or whatever you prefer to call it), far away from the material world.

-So most of my time in Chiang Mai has been about going through different emotions such as communication, separation, detachments around the area of Love. I'm on a journey of Self-Love and being here, -alone as well, has been an important and vital need for my discoveries. 

I started my Thai-yoga-massagecourse for 60 hours training. For you that are not familiar with this kind of massage, I can tell you that the giver is in constant movements connected to Tai Chi and Yoga which means it's obviously an active participation in all ways. Combined to that, I was sick in fever and a cold worse than -Paah. Although, I decided to go on a juicefast during this time, because the place and timing was just perfect. But it was hard. So hard. Thank you Michele, You have been a rock supporting me through this.

A juicefast (just drinking juice and water), except the detox, often brings up emotions from the unconscious because they are not bottled down with heavy food as they usually are. It gives the body a space to heal in all its ways and this is what I wanted. 

-While doing this, frustrated, tired and full of fears, I realized how attached I had been to so many things in my life. To food, to people, to places, to control, to love, to ideas, to everything. And by realizing and observing these emotions I manage to find a way to Let them go. 

Here, dear people -is my Freedom.
(We'll talk more about attachments and why they are not in our best and highest good another time.. )

I am now no longer trapped in these attachments and I am finally free to Love unconditional and unlimited, without any ideas or expectations. 

Now -this was the End of what I've been fighting for these last 17 months. It took a lot of efforts, traveling, money, meetings, practises.. 

I am Love. And pure energy. 

Apart from that, I am happy to tell you that finally my Sweetheart, my Love, GiGi, is coming to Thai tomorrow. We will meet, we will surrender and we will live in the present and Love every second. That's all we know. This is my next chapter in life.

Thank you for this time Chiang Mai. I give gratitude for you. 

(I might move here for real in the future. This is a perfect place to live)

But, -Until I see you again beautiful Nature, People and Surroundings. 

xo Alli

This is Olivier. Think about yourself and who you are according to the beliefesystems within you, built up on the reality that was not more than just given to us.

You are an inspiration Olivier. A fighter. Thank you for showing me what courage is. 

I admire you xx